gardening in the basement

It might take a lot of nerve to tell people you enjoy gardening in the basement. Chances are, you�ll get a lot of funny looks. Questions concerning your sanity. Maybe even some derisive laughter.

But the truth of the matter is that that doubting audience may be jealous of your style. Your sense of adventure. Your chutzpah.

You can either keep them guessing, silently daring them to ask the question. Or you can be open and forthcoming with the details. Because you know, whether they dare ask the question or not, they are just absolutely dying to know what it is you�re growing your garden in the basement.

You can tell them about the mushrooms. Not the kind that makes you crazy and go off howling at the moon. The exquisitely delicious kind that costs a fortune at the local supermarket.

You can explain that gardening in the basement is ideal for mushrooms because mushrooms, even the gourmet delicacies, thrive in cool, dark, damp climates, even if that ideal climate is the basement. Then dazzle them with a gourmet pizza topped with your homegrown mushrooms that taste better than any they�ve ever had before.

Serve that pizza with a salad made from the alfalfa, radish, and sunflower sprouts you also grew while you just happened to be growing in the basement.

You can tell them that that sublime fragrance wafting through your home is coming from the hyacinths that are always in bloom.

You don�t have to tell that all you do is keep an army of hyacinth bulbs suspended over glasses of water that you keep in a cool, dark corner of the basement and that all you do is keep the water fresh and at a good level. That you keep it in the dark, cool comfort of the basement till roots sprout. That you then bring the soon-to-flower bulb into the light of your home and enjoy watching it grow, bloom, and perfume every room.

You can tell them not to feel sorry for the lonely hyacinth bulbs sitting tall and proud atop their glasses of water way down there in the basement. Tell them that there are plenty of fragrant daffodils, jonquils, and narcissus down there to keep them company.

You can tell them about your dazzling array of African violets that are growing profusely on the shelves under the lighting system you�ve rigged up so you can enjoy all kinds of earthly delights garden in the basement.

And if your doubting listener is someone you really like, maybe you can tell him or her about the tomatoes you are growing hydroponically as you enjoy gardening in the basement. That you harvest fresh homegrown, vine-ripened tomatoes every day. Yes, even though it�s January. Or February.

Yes, you may get some wild looks, crazy questions, and perhaps a few thinly veiled insults when you mention that you enjoy gardening in the basement. This first stage of disbelief, confusion, and downright ridicule should quickly pass.

Once the shock of discovery has passed, chances are great that your listener is going to ask you to teach him or her how to become a success at gardening in the basement, too.

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